You know you've been in the martial arts too long when you....



  • can't walk by anyone in your school without exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.
  • have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room.
  • are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
  • think to yourself while trying on pants: "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them well."
  • find your practicing staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
  • find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line.
  • practice your techniques / forms in the parking lot while waiting for someone to come out of the store, workplace. (and almost get the police called upon you because the manager at work / store thinks your weird.)
  • open and close doors with spinning kicks.
  • open doors with a punch or an intentionally executed palm strike.
  • buy shoes because they are flexible or have steel toes.
  • when buying those shoes, you don't walk or jog around the store, you practice pivots, sweeps, stances, and kicks.
  • when you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling, and in anger, kick it and damage it.
  • practice blocks while driving.
  • do Finger Set while sitting at a stop light.
  • use various strikes to turn lights on and off (yes, this includes your feet, too.)
  • see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.
  • can't enjoy a martial art flick anymore because of the unrealistic moves.
  • notice that you never never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
  • notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!
  • keep a martial arts weapon close at hand while you sleep.
  • have mastered the reflex to mentally imagine a messy homicide everytime someone asks if you're a black belt after learning you practice martial arts.
  • don't use any tools when splitting firewood.
  • spend more time surfing martial arts forums instead of doing actual work.
  • don't care if the other patrons are looking at you funny.